Blessed by Dragonfly

I moved into my new home 8 months ago, and have been struggling with re-designing my yard - both front and back. My dream yard will be fully edible. I already have plenty of fruit trees in the back, however the rest of the yard is all grass. Don’t get me wrong, having been born and raised in the Midwest, I love the feel of a lush lawn under my feet. But now I live in the desert, where water is scarce and precious. So my goal is to plant a yard that is medicinal, healing and nutritional for the birds, bees, butterflies and my surrounding community.

My journey started this weekend by removing the sod from a 150 Sq. Ft. area along the side of my house in the front. The finished area will be paved along the house and 3 raised garden beds along the fence.

In the past, I focused so much on getting the project done that I neglected balance; forgoing meals, sleep, etc. So before embarking on this huge task, I had to give myself a pep talk and permission to take as much time as needed in order to maintain balance in my life.

Before I started digging Sunday morning, I sat in the middle of the front lawn while my cat and dog played. I felt the ground beneath me, pull the tension from my body. Hmmmm. Didn’t think I was stressed.

I looked around at the lawn and wondered whether or not my dreams were too large, when Dragonfly appeared; three all together. But one in particular kept coming back and hanging out with me.

Dragonfly, you are the winds of change. Like me, you too are a sensitive creature of water, and change seems inevitable and constant. Sometimes, when I question my dreams, I imagine letting myself flow from the depths of the ocean to the calm surface above. At this place of calm, I skim across the water towards that which is to be.

Thank you for visiting me today and reminding me to plant and provide water for you, your sister bees, birds and butterflies. Among other things, you symbolize strength, peace and harmony; all that I wish from within, extended without.

I believe you have blessed me, my dreams and my home and yard. Pilamaya!

Namaste

A visit with my Ancestors

I sat against the tree to meditate and quiet my mind. I'm usually upbeat and joking, but my heart felt heavy so I knew I needed to look further within to find out what was going on. Usually this happens when I've over extended myself and am exhausted.

Nevertheless, I focused on slow, deep breaths. After a few moments, I felt the energy of the tree meld with mine; her branches holding me while the light fingerless leaves gently brushed the tears on my cheeks, comforting me. I recognized the release and allowed the tears to flow freely.

I opened my eyes and saw Grandmother and Grandfather standing there; their eyes warm and smiling. I missed them so, and cried even harder. They spoke of how they are still with me, in my heart and all I needed to do was look for the light there to find the answers.

While we were talking, a fawn walked up and stood next to them. He glanced at me and then looked up at my Grandparents and nodded. I knew it was time to say good-bye for now. I thanked them for coming and that I loved them. They knew.  In a blink of my eye, there was now a Robin and Raven where once they stood.

I looked at the fawn. “Boozhoo, Waawaashkeshi. Aaniin ezhinikaazoyan?”

I wondered what message this ‘deer’ one was trying to convey.

Fearlessly, the fawn lay down and watched me.

Fawn symbolizes unconditional love and the fear that prevents us from moving forward. Ningotaaj. Yes, I am afraid. I’m pretty good at hiding my fears, but never the less, I am afraid. Afraid mostly of failing.

I thought about this for awhile…. The overwhelming release of emotion today made me realize that I am growing and working through one more challenge or two.

I have always been fearful. I recently shared a story  with a colleague where I was debilitated by fear. She responded that she would never have guessed I was ever fearful of anything. As I grew older however, I have learned to face my fears and move beyond them. After all, the fears I have are ones I created for myself, placing unnecessary stress. In the past, I have created events in my life through my thoughts (and fears), so I have every means to create the positive outcome I desire now.

My grandparents showed me nothing but unconditional love and support while I was growing up, and now they have passed on. When my fears start playing with my emotions, making me want to quit, one or the other, or both appear and let me know that they still support and love me - no matter what.

I understand now. My lesson is to find that same unconditional love for myself; trusting I am on the right path, growing, sharing and loving.

I thanked the fawn for his presence and patience.

“Miigwech, Waawaashkeshi. Thank you.  Giga-waabamin menawaa." I hope soon.

in Zahgidiwin,

WS